《剑16》Test2小作文详解|制造类流程图如何写才能得高分?《剑16》非数据小作文居多,尤其流程图占俩,尽管今年的实战考试中流程图占比并不多,但大家依旧不能松懈。流程图得分的分水岭主要在于衔接手段,大多数考生面临的问题在于衔接过于单一机械,导致衔接分数堪忧。因此下面范文的不同衔接手段值得揣摩。
《剑16》Test 2 小作文
审题
常规的制造类流程图,图不难看懂,注意所有信息包含(TA),衔接手段(CC),动词使用灵动(LR),以及语法层面不能都是简单句(GRA)。
Rephrasing
The flow chart is an illustration of how sugar is manufactured from sugar cane.
☀ 主句部分可以从句型上进行改写,将主谓宾改为主系表结构,of后面则是how引导的从句。
Body 1
To produce cane sugar, one raw material – <同位语的插入现象> ripe sugar canes – is the necessity. <先后顺序可以利用时态来体现> Having matured for one year to a year and a half, the canes are reaped <注意两个箭头,可使用平行结构> either by a giant harvester or by farmers with sickles. <表语从句> The subsequent step is that the <顶针:前一个的动词可以转成同根词不同词性变体,加强步骤间衔接紧凑> harvested canes are squeezed into juice by a rolling crusher. Till now, all the preparatory procedures are accomplished.
☀ 利用时态、句式、同根词变体等方式,进行衔接,而非机械使用firstly, secondly, then等。
Body 2
After preparation, <倒装句> here comes the next step of pouring the raw juice into a filter made of limestone to have the juice refined. <方位词引导的完全倒装句> At the bottom of this filter is an exit, through which the <同根词不同词性变体> filteredfluid is instilled in a heated stove, in which it is turned into thick syrup by evaporating the moisture. Afterwards, the hot syrup is placed in a spinning centrifuge for the purpose of detaching the sugar crystals from theliquid. The process ends with dehydrating and chilling the sugar solids in a container.
☀ Lexis: 重点关注标红动词与图中动词的同义替换。
Overview
Overall, the method whereby cane sugar is produced is time-consuming, consisting of four main procedures – cultivating, pressing, separating, and drying, and the equipment used is rather primitive.
☀ TA:考官对于overview的要求,在近几年一直反复强调需要more detailed,因此步骤需稍微细化。
☀ GRA:whereby后面是关系副词引导的定语从句,等同于through which。
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