雅思大作文范文解析：野生动物不应该放在动物园里

　　雅思大作文范文解析：野生动物不应该放在动物园里   我们在备考雅思写作的时候，一定要有一个分析调错的过程，这样能保证我们的备考是有效的，下面结合例题和例文说明如何做到合理分段。

　　例题：Some people think that wild animals should not be kept in zoos. Others believe that there are good reasons for having zoos.  Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

　　例文：Since the dawn of times wild animals are kept in zoos all over world. This is a controversial issue. At present, zoos are tourist attraction in many countries and need wild animals to attract visitors. I beleve that they should not be kept in zoos and there should be alternative places to see them. This essay will discuss both sides and an opinion will be put forth.

　　There are many good reasons to not build zoos in our cities. 1) First of all, god’s precius gifts need to live in their natural habitat. Furthermore, zoos are no place for wild things. If animals need to be cared for, they should be looked after in theier natural habitat in game parks or wildlife reserves. Goverments should look after the precious wild animals at their country and should close down zoos that profit for them. 2) Another valid reason to support this view is that people can see wild animals on the internet, or in books. They don’t need to visit htem in cages where they are sick or dying. Moreover, These zoos try to make money from animals misery and they don’t care of the animals welfare. A recent research in Harvard shows that 89% of all wild animals die in cages. 3)In addition to this, we should allow animals to live in the wild. They can be healthy in their own habitat, they can hunt and have normal behaviour. They cannot do this in a zoo. In the future, if man wants to see wild animals, we must travel to their country and see them in the wild in their enviroment and not ours.

　　In a nutshell people believe that zoos are good places to keep wild animals, I feel that we do not need zoos anymore and we can look at wild animals on the internet or travell to there and we can be happy for these wild creature

　　上述范文虽然分了3段，但第2段太长，很多ideas挤在一起，而结尾又太短、只有一个句子。仅符合CC5分评分标准。

　　写大作文的时候要记住4点：分段论述观点，每个段落之间空一行，不写只有一句话的段落，写好段落中心句可以让作文更容易读懂。

　　段落调整后的范文：

　　Since the dawn of times wild animals are kept in zoos all over world. This is a controversial issue. At present, zoos are tourist attraction in many countries and need wild animals to attract vistors. I beleve that they should not be kept in zoos and there should be alternative places to see them. This essay will discuss both sides and an opinion will be put forth.

　　There are many good reasons to not build zoos in our cities. First of all, god’s precius gifts need to live in their natural habitat. Furthermore, zoos are no place for wild things. If animals need to be cared for, they should be looked after in theier natural habitat in game parks or wildlife reserves. Goverments should look after the precious wild animals at their country and should close down zoos that profit for them. Another valid reason to support this view is that people can see wild animals on the internet, or in books. They don’t need to visit htem in cages where they are sick or dying. Moreover, these zoos try to make money from animals misery and they don’t care of the animals welfare. A recent research in Harvard shows that 89% of all wild animals die in cages.

　　In addition to this, we should allow animals to live in the wild. They can be healthy in their own habitat, they can hunt and have normal behaviour. They cannot do this in a zoo. In the future, if man wants to see wild animals, we must travel to their country and see them in the wild in their enviroment and not ours.

　　In a nutshell, people believe that zoos are good places to keep wild animals, I feel that we do not need zoos anymore. We can look at wild animals on the internet or travell to there and we can be happy for these wild creatures.