雅思G类大作文考题分析:体育比赛如足球是否可以促进文化交流 本文为大家做简单的分析和范文分享,供参考!
Some people think that competitive sports such as soccer can help to reach culture interaction among people of different age groups and nationalities,but others think that it would cause problems. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
2018年北美考区的类似考题回忆为:
Some people think that international competitive sports such as football bring conflict between people of different age groups and nationalities. Others think sport is helping reach understanding between people and nations. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
由于反馈信息较少,上述回忆与实际真题存在偏差,以下分析和范文仅供参考。
图片来源网络
审 题:这道题比较长,很多考生可能一看到体育比赛,就想到体育类的高频考题“办体育赛事的好坏”,如果就此急于下笔,TR很难高分,一定要认真、充分读题,看清楚题目的观点及重点是什么,再结合自己积累的背景知识开始构思。
题中观点一是“竞技体育比赛比如足球可以帮助不同年龄群体和国籍的人交流文化”,信息量比较大。虽然主干是“体育比赛促进文化交流”,但要想TR高分,在构思和论述是要提到和围绕“足球”“不同年龄群体和国籍”等补充和限定要素。
题中观点二是“竞技体育比赛会导致问题”,没有明确说明问题,但从DG类考题的一般规律来看,应该是说会导致与前一个观点相反的问题,如“矛盾冲突”之类。如果泛写这类赛事的问题,TR难高分。
结 构:四段式,开头段改写题目并简介个人观点,2个主体段分别讨论一个观点,结尾概括全文并重申个人观点。
这道题的难点在于不容易实现论述的充分和具体。多数考生会因为缺乏相关的例子积累而陷于反复讲道理,导致TR和LR不理想。以下范文里的例子可以参考。
Sample Answer:
以下范文及批改意见来自国外雅思学习网站eltecenglish,评分不详,仅供参考。原文可点击页面左下方阅读原文查看。
注:范文题目与本次考试题目有出入,有颜色的部分为批改意见,蓝色为增加或改正,红色为说明,划线为删除。
While some people believe that sports competitions between nations help to bring different people and culture together as they get to travel and learn about the place where the events are organized, others opine that it creates problems and increases the chance of confrontations between countries because people tend to get over excited during matches. I agree with the former view.
网站评语:开头段写的很好。
补充:这个开头段改写较为充分(从原因角度做了拓展),个人观点简洁,但倾向这样的写法:People have different views about the effects of sports competitions. While some argue that these games would cause conflicts between people and even nations, I believe that international sports events can promote culture understanding in most cases.
On the one hand, (改为I strongly support the view that) it is thought that a sport allows fans to understand a new culture and get along with people of other nations.This is to say that(不必要,删除) during big sports events such as Olympics, Wimbledon, and Commonwealth games World cups of various sports (such as 是用来举例的,它引出的内容不能是概括的various sports,要更具体,改为温网和英联邦运动会), host countries allow people of different nationalities to come and witness the spectacular event. This gives them a chance to travelers from various parts of the world to (删掉这些,改成them来指代前文提到的不同国家的人,CC更好) experience the culture of the host nation during the stay. This strengthens the relationship among nations. For instance, in every Olympics, millions of people come to the host country. This eventually helps in improving the ties among nations. (这不是个例子,例子要包含名字、数据、事实之类的信息,而这句话只是在改述前文表达过的意思,改为后文蓝色部分)For example, during the Asian Games in Jakarta in 2018, millions of people and thousands of sportspersons from different countries visited Indonesia. This not only gave these people a better understanding of the Indonesian culture but also forged close friendships irrespective of religious and racial backgrounds.
网站评语:目标是高分的话,论述一定要具体。
补充:上述批改关于什么是例子的解释和举例值得学习,目标7+尤其要注意。例子需要有具体的地名、人名、企业名称、数据之类,而不是想法或假设。
On the other hand, sports often lead to violence because people often (之前已经出现了often,重复,删除 take sports them too seriously. In other words, (不必要的连接词,删除) many fans are passionate about games such as football, and cricket, and it is sometimes hard for them to digest the defeat of their team. The fans ofthe losing team, out of anger, often engage in serious brawls with the fans of different other countries and, sometimes, at worse, damage public property. For example, during 2016 Union of European Football Associations (UEFA) in France, after the Russian team was knocked out of the competition,their itsfans had (时态错误) damaged public property in France and engaged in public fighting. After this incident, the France French government banned Russian citizens from entering their land the country and this had (时态错误) raised tension between these two nations.
补充:这一段修改后在四项评分标准的表现都不错,大家可以体会一下行文流畅,同时积累词汇、短语和例子。
In conclusion, although sports result in tension among nations because of the outrage of certain emotional fans, I believe that sports they allow people to experience a different culture and place.
为方便阅读和学习,调整范文如下:
People have different views about the effects of sports competitions. While some argue that these games would cause conflicts between people and even nations, I believe that international sports events can promote culture understanding among sport fans.
Sports sometimes lead to violence because people take them too seriously. Many fans are so passionate about games that it feels hard for them to digest the defeat of their team. The fans of the losing team, no matter how old they are, might engage in serious brawls with the fans of other countries and cause devastating consequences. For example, some Russia fans threw bottles and chairs to others after Russia were knocked out of the 2016 Union of European Football Associations in France, which resulted in French government banning Russian citizens from entering the country as well as the raised tension between the two nations.
However, I strongly support the view that a sport allows fans of different ages and countries to understand new cultures. Big sports events such as Olympics, Wimbledon, and Commonwealth games, give people a chance to experience the culture of the host nation and to communicate with local residents. This strengthens the relationship among nations. For example, during the Asian Games in Jakarta in 2018, millions of people and thousands of sportspersons from different countries visited Indonesia. This not only gave these people a better understanding of the Indonesian culture but also forged close friendships irrespective of religious and racial backgrounds.
In conclusion, although sports result in tension among nations because of the outrage of certain emotional fans, I believe that they allow people from different backgrounds to learn more about each other.
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