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2019年10月10日雅思写作考试点评分析环球教育权威分享!

2019-10-12 18:37:01编辑:小羊

  A类小作文

  【作文类型】地图

  【作文题目】: 乡村过去和将来发生的变化对比, 具体图片待补充

  Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

  注意描写变化的词组和句型,以及地图的整体差异, 趋势的概括,通过对比相关方的形式呈现图表的要素。

2019年10月10日雅思写作考试点评分析环球教育权威分享!
图片来源网络

  A类大作文

  【作文题目】Some people think that the best way to reduce the crime rate committed by young adults is to teach parents parenting skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

  【题目分析】

  1. 审题和观点: 注意同意与否题型的作答结构以及逻辑思路。此题目还有一个陷阱“the best”,需要回应任务的所有部分, 注意teach parents parenting skills 能否reduce the crime rate convicted by young adults. 以及这是否是the best way 的双重作答结构, 此外, 在问题解决的题目背景中, 需要在逻辑上补充问题发生的原因作为前提。

  2. 观点的论述方面, 建议主体段的论点逻辑链如下:

  Body 1: 社会角度: 提供社区服务或者教育—小孩可以不收到身边的人的影响或者媒体的影响—不犯罪

  Body 2: 教育角度:提供好的教育—老师让小孩知道好的行为和道德—不犯罪

  Body 3: 行为角度: 对于学龄前的儿童—教父母如何教育孩子—小孩形成好的习惯,成绩好—不犯罪

  【题材类别】犯罪类

  【参考范文】

  Parental support in terms of parenting skills has been suggested to be the most effective way to bring down the crime rate convicted by those in formative years. I personally opine that this method is too narrow to be the best approach and other measures can be adopted to cope with the situation.

  First off, from the societal perspective, progressing communal service can create an environment that protects the minors from the negative exposure of the gangsters and media, which removes the source of imitative crimes. Apparently, when some working parents have less time supervising their children, these alienated youngsters, having nothing to do, may go down the wrong path, and put into what they are exposed from the surrounding people and TV into practice. If the community could help, for instance, by offering supervision and rational after school activities that can arouse curiosity of the teens, then getting into troubles would not be part of the lifestyle of these young, lowering their delinquency rate.

  As well as after -school support, to lower the crime rate, some young people should also be supported by getting good sense of value, differentiating right from wrong and erecting correct sense of conduct, in which scenario, schools have THE role to play. Research has shown that over the past 50 years, the crime rates among those in impressionable years have risen considerably, when schools lay emphasis on academic performance over ethic education. In this sense, to prevent the young from becoming involved in crimes, teachers should by no means escape from the liability.

  Nevertheless, despite support from community and school, without correct and meaningful parental support, how could some alienated children under the formative years be fostered consideration for others, developed with respect and gratitude towards others and forged with mindsets responsible for others ? Without good parental skills, how could parents be strategic in instilling such valuable characters that might remove the danger of future crime? So, parental classes, for example, could be used as a very good measure to make crime rate under control.

  Overall, despite the importance of parental skills that can help reduce crime for the minors, overemphasizing parental care can neglect those crimes resulting from society and school, and should not be regarded as the best way.